Time Jump

Even though I haven't posted here in who knows how long, this blog never quite totally disappears from my thoughts... I can't tell you how many entries I've written during my morning shower. Only in my head, of course; I probably use up enough hot water without trying to rip out 800 words or so at the same time.

Despite the aged-in-the-cask nature of the 200+ posts here, it's not uncommon for me to send a link to one of them to some unsuspecting passerby -- I can find a periodic excuse to pass on this one and this one in particular -- but that always reminds me that I kinda miss doing this thing.

It takes intentionality to create a blog entry, however, and since my blog has never been big on the 'feedback' end of things, it's difficult to muster the concentration, effort, and time it takes to post. Next thing I know it's seemingly a whole lifetime later -- it would probably take a lifetime to recap all the water that's gone under the bridge in the meantime.

I decided to resurrect it at least temporarily (who knows, maybe I can get a little something going here at least sporadically) for the purpose of posting our family's holiday letter here. This way I can easily link to it in Facebook or an email and anyone who would venture a click can read it (while at the same time, it's fairly unlikely that anyone who doesn't care would wander in).

Anyway, I find that I haven't lost the knack for writing half a page without even remembering my original objective... but the following is what I ended up writing about the year 2017:

Merry Christmas to you and a Happy 2018! Writing this is literally the first thing I’m doing in the New Year. We’re off to a strong start already; my son’s first words to me on Jan.1 were not “Happy New Year” or even good morning, but rather “Where are the donuts?”

Having located them, he’s (munching, &) watching YouTube videos on his laptop; his mom is curled up with a cup of coffee and a podcast on her new iPad; the young woman among us is still sleeping; and I am determined to capture an entire year, or at least the State of the Family as the calendar changes, in a few paragraphs.

We’ve been a little lax in our longstanding holiday letter discipline, but this year’s was inspired by a few pieces of news we wanted to make sure our whole circle of connections were aware of.

Kelly has the biggest news this year. As she observed her third anniversary as pastor of Hartford UMC, and the fifth anniversary of her traumatic brain injury, she began to feel a readiness for a fuller ministry.   After much prayer, she told the Bishop she was ready for ¾ time status as a pastor.   That seems like the ideal “balance” right now; allowing her to pastor and still spend meaningful time with our two teens and her husband.   As of today Kelly is appointed to serve the Ballston Spa UMC on a ¾-time basis.

Because that church has been without a pastor for 2 months, she had been getting started with some things there, but yesterday marked her final worship service with the gracious folks at Hartford.   How well they thanked her and honored her ministry among them.  They also did a great job blessing our family with support and kindnesses.   The parting is sorrowful, but the small country church sends Kelly onward with their blessing.

Mark, Katie, and Jonathan have been involved at Hudson Falls UMC since we left Colonie, but Mark & Katie have made the decision to join Kelly at BSUMC, even as we all remain in our Moreau home.  Jonathan will continue at HFUMC, both because he has such a “home” there and as part of his continuing transition toward independence. At this point we anticipate a likely move to the Ballston Spa parsonage in the summer of 2019.

Meanwhile, Mark reached the 20^th anniversary of beginning at IDX Systems Corporation, which eventually became part of GE Healthcare. He’s blessed to have maintained this position through a change of role, corporation, and five physical moves, having worked 100% from home for more than 14 of those years. He’s saddened to transition away from being Staff-Parish Relations chair and praise team leader at his hometown church, but excited for the opportunity to share in ministry with Kelly once again. We’ve missed each other.

After spending a year in the high school program at the Wildwood School, Jonathan transitioned this summer to the school’s Young Adult Program, just before his 18^th birthday. YAP seeks to give young adults on the autism spectrum the living and working skills they need to achieve maximum independence. His teachers consistently remark on how he’s become a leader and the example they often use with the other students. Visitors to his bedroom consistently remark on the many Lego creations he has assembled and is displaying on every horizontal surface.

Katie celebrated her 15^th birthday at midyear and is now a sophomore at South Glens Falls HS. One of the highlights of her freshman year was her first participation in the school’s legendary Marathon Dance, which really has to be seen to be believed. This year she and the rest of the student body raised over $800,000 to help people in our local community, most of whom are facing a life-threatening health crisis.

This fall Katie took up tennis and had a winning season as part of the varsity team’s first doubles pairing. As the year came to a close, she suffered what was somehow her first broken bone in a gym class mishap, a right pinky-finger fracture that required the insertion of 2 pins. At this writing she is anxiously awaiting the removal in a few days of the cast and the pins, so she can resume writing and drawing (and full household chores, of course).

This summer we also celebrated our 30^th wedding anniversary with a trip to Rhode Island, including some fascinating time in Newport, and had a couple of quick getaways to Lake Placid which resulted in Mark becoming obsessed with waterfalls.  And as with all of you, this year did hold its share of heartaches, but we won’t chronicle these.  What we do want to convey is this:  we’re here on the other side - by the grace of God.  We cannot help but remind you whom we care about that God is our source of strength and peace; He heals us and restores our hope.  It is well with our souls.

As we close out this year and anticipate a fresh new one, we pray that each of you is well.   We’d love to hear your latest news, for you are important to us.  One of our New Year’s resolutions is to see as many people as we can in person.  So reach out soon so we can plan a simple meal or host you for an afternoon or evening.    We’ll set out some “sweet treats” and savor them and your good company.   Do let us show and share our love, and God’s love with you in 2018! 

As I Was Saying...

One of Newton's Laws of Motion states that a body at rest tends to stay at rest (if I were a real writer, I'd look up which Law, but since this is a blog, I'm obligated only to link to it).  This Law is perhaps most clearly illustrated at nap time, but it also describes what's been going on with the blog of late.

I won't deny that my production had been winding down really for a period of multiple years, for several reasons, but the pothole that seemed to drop the transmission out was my surgery in October.  The irony, of course, was that I had nothing but time, suddenly... but typing was laborious (and handwriting all but impossible).

Looking back over the past 9 months it seems full of momentous events, both exciting and catastrophic.  I'm struggling a bit dealing with all of that in blog terms, first of all because the sheer volume of events really resists being summed up in 800 or so words -- but also because some of the individual events feel too big, too deep, too... personal.

One of the joys of this endeavor over the years has been creating little vignettes, glimpses into my life and the way I think, and trying to make it interesting or funny to someone besides just myself.  I appreciate also the cyberconnection I have with so many people who've been part of my life at different stages.  It makes for a kind of community that's frankly missing from my largely isolated work-from-home life.  I take particular pleasure in the fact that several of my Facebook friends that I interact with the most are people with whom I wasn't all that close IRL

I'm also aware, however, of a fundamental shortcoming -- whether in me or just built into Social Media World: when I'm going through Real Stuff, such as I have been lately, it's better worked through with Real People, and not where "just anyone" can see..And while I've been pretty successful in building a Friends list, I've been way less successful in building actual Friend-ships.

Even in the midst of such reflection, I still find it a bit ironic; I just wrote a blog about the limitations of blogging, in which the big revelation is that I'm fundamentally unable to reveal myself.

Time Keeps On Tickin' Tickin' Tickin'

My wife loves to make lists. There's almost always a legal pad lying about somewhere, covered from top to bottom with all the things she wants to get done in the next day/week/lifetime. Quite often there's a second column with my name at the top with a separate list. Sometimes it's actually the first column.

I don't tend to write anything down, but I do make mental lists as well. Of course, one problem with a mental list is that it's pretty painful to try to cross something off. For me, in any case, a lot of the list is taken up with standing items anyway... stuff I always have pending and that never gets crossed off. Things that hang over my head like the anvil over Wile E. Coyote's.

Many's the evening when, after finishing off my daily tasks -- and that's a whole different list, by the way, and sometimes it's pretty late before they're complete -- I sit down on the couch and think to myself: how should I pass the rest of my evening? Should I read, or watch TV, or simply spend time with my wife? I could surf the net, or rip some of the music I have recorded on my hard drive to my iPod. There's always e-mail to catch up on...

As I run through the options, I always bump into at least one item on the master list: the blog. I can tell you that it's a very rare day when I don't stop and ask myself, "How long has it been since I posted?" I do feel an obligation to post often enough that anyone checking in semi-regularly won't have to wait too long to find something new. I'm well aware that if someone tries a couple times and comes up empty, they're probably not coming back. And I'm not so swamped with visitors that I can spare any.

Here's the rub: it won't be worth bothering if I just write something to fill up a date. As I've said before, I've only had like about a half-dozen original ideas in my whole life -- so considering I've got what, 130+ posts, I may be in danger of repeating myself.

On the other hand, I don't want to shut the thing down. I do still have things I want to say, at intervals, and I've put too much effort into this -- too much of myself -- to just walk away.

So this is what I want to do. I want to keep the blog going, and I want to post when I have something to say. But I want to declare independence from the notion that I need to post on schedule 'X'. Frankly I feel it pulling me toward writing crappy stuff. And I certainly don't need any extra push in that direction.

I hope you will keep coming back to visit when the spirit moves you, but I hope you will give me the grace to be somewhat erratic in my schedule. I do have some ideas for some things I want to write, which I believe will be better if I take the time to write them as they sort of ripen in my head rather than because oh no it's been 3 weeks and if I don't post something now no one will ever come read me again.

After all, I do have well over 100 posts and I would bet good money that no one but me has ever read all of them... so browse the back issues while you're waiting to be served! Kind of like the doctor's office.

I'll Take Geeks for $1000, Alex

It struck me today that I have something in common with the denizens of a certain fictional island. If you're a fan, you'll remember the hatch people, having to push the button every 108 minutes.... sometimes the timer would get down close to zero and the alarms would start howling -- someone would have to leap to the keyboard before the time ran out.

I've got that same little clock running in my head all the time when I haven't posted. Once I get past about a week (in recent months I've stretched it to 8 or 9 days), the alarm starts shrieking. I sometimes get tempted to knock out a couple paragraphs just to say I've posted -- I could probably tell a story about one of the kids every other day, but I've just decided I don't want to do the Funny Kid Story blog.

This is the same season I complain about every year because there's so much going on and fitting it all in is an issue. Somehow, though, I always find time to read. I just finished Brainiac, by Ken Jennings, the all-time biggest Jeopardy winner. I found the book utterly engaging, although that may have something to do with the fact that Jennings reveals himself as a family guy with a strong faith who works as a computer programmer and enjoys trivia. I can't say quite why that resonated with me so much.

Here's where it gets weird: another one of my favorite recent reads was Prisoner of Trebekistan, a memoir by ... another former Jeopardy champion. OK, it seems pretty logical -- when you have an interest in something, it can be fun to read about it. Except for one fact: I can't remember the last time I watched Jeopardy. I like the show well enough; I enjoy playing along at home; I've even entertained fantasies of being on the show -- but it's hardly a passion of mine.

In my defense, both books are great reads even for the non-fanatic. Both of them are wonderfully witty; Jennings in particular seems to have been blessed with the same sense of humor as me (I think you should read his book anyway). Brainiac also discusses the history of quiz shows and trivia itself -- I discovered that, like crossword puzzles, the modern enthusiasm for trivia dates to the 1920s. The other book, by Bob Harris, features some interesting ideas on improving memory.

Or maybe I'm just a geek.

I'm not sure I really need to convince anyone of that, but just in case you need further evidence, a story from my past (I was reminded of this recently during my time-travel experiments):

I was, it surely goes without saying, not the top-ranked physical specimen in my peer group growing up. So in my mid-teens, I decided it was time to make a change. I got a set of weights and set them up in the basement, and started a regular lifting program. I decided I'd probably do better with some music to pump me up -- so to speak. Every time I would use the same cassette to help get the pulse racing.

Something screaming, intense, high energy? Van Halen, maybe?

Nah -- This One's for You. Because as you know, nothing says macho like Barry Manilow.

Hold the Boxes

One of the milestone events of my adolescence was the day cable TV came to the North Country. Suddenly a vast universe of TV viewing unfolded before me -- 11 channels, if I recall correctly. Chief among those was Channel 9 from New York (at the time known as WOR), the television home of my beloved New York Mets... the passport to many hours of watching the heroics of such stalwarts as Ron Hodges, Jerry Morales, Tom Hausman, and Mark Bomback.

Later in the evening after the game was over (and everyone else was in bed) Channel 9 presented the Benny Hill Show -- which at the time was considered pretty racy fare, but nowadays would be left in the dust by your average 8 pm sitcom. It was silly & fast-paced, plenty of sight gags, plenty of cute girls mostly standing around (or being chased by Benny), and the teenage me enjoyed it immensely... OK, I suspect the grown-up me would at least get a few chuckles.

I still remember one sketch where Benny played a TV director and the girl playing the actress in the scene -- they never had names -- read her line, as follows: "What's that in the road? A head?" Then Benny as director stepped in and said, "No, no! It's supposed to be, 'What's that in the road ahead?' "

The point, of course, is that inflection, phrasing, emphasis can make all the difference in the world. I found this out to my chagrin from my post of a couple weeks ago. I was attempting to make a point about how, since my wife is a minister, we always have the potential to be moving -- but I feel better-equipped to handle that, if and when it happens. Unfortunately, the way I phrased it made it sound like we were almost certainly moving (already packing boxes, even); I should've known something was up when two people commented on that single sentence!

So in the interests of clarity, I edited that post to make the sentence reflect reality a little better:

There's no way from here we can know when the actual emergency will be, not just a test; but we understand that’s part of the life we’ve chosen (or for which God has chosen us), and we are learning to trust that he’ll give us what we need to make it happen whenever the time comes.

I'm also posting this entry because it's rare enough for someone to read one of my entries once, much less re-reading to catch edits. And also to let you know that if you're saving up cardboard boxes for us, you can take them to your local recycling station.

Metablog: With a Name Like Random Access...

In the mornings around here, the usual TV-viewing fare leans to the Smurfs and Lilo & Stitch, so it was out of the ordinary when I caught a bit of the Today Show not long ago. It only happened because I was on a business trip, itself a rare occurrence; I was having breakfast in the lobby restaurant with my colleagues, a meal distinguished for me by the complete absence of anyone fighting over which blanket they would sit on to eat cereal and watch cartoons.

There was a small flat-panel TV in the corner of the restaurant, and I confess that even though the table talk concerning the meetings ahead was fascinating and insightful, I found my attention straying to the screen every so often. I could scarcely believe my eyes when up popped Willard Scott. Although Willard was gracefully eased out of his regular weather gig lo these eons ago, he inexplicably surfaces every now & again to do his Geezer Bit. In fact, nowadays it even has its own sponsor, Smucker’s. Each oldster gets his or (mostly) her picture framed by a graphic reading, “With a name like…” as Willard, who’s gotta be fairly close to getting his own picture up there, reads off the particulars.

There’s no cyber-equivalent, unfortunately, but today I celebrate a milestone of my own: my 100th post. Back when I started, my stated intention was to post twice a week, so I’m just about exactly a year behind that pace… but it didn’t take me long to discover that one idea a week was a pretty brisk clip for me.

Still, I’m pretty happy with 100 posts in 100 1/2 weeks; I admit there have been occasions when I wrote something just to check off that week (wouldn’t want to disappoint both my regular readers!), but on balance I’ve written when I at least deluded myself that I had something to say.

On the occasion of my centennial (yeah, I know that means 100 years but it’s the best I’ve got), I wanted to give you an update on a few of my previous posts:

• Some time back I wrote a piece about the music on kids’ shows. Some time after that it occurred to me that I had completely forgotten to include the one piece of music that got me thinking about it to begin with:
  Actually there aren't too many finer musical experiences of any kind, if you ask me......
• I discovered the limits on my son’s powers as a human alarm clock: you can’t reset his time. On a previous business trip this summer, I needed to get up at 6 in order to drive to my meeting in time – so of course, the power went out and I awoke at 6:50 with the clock blinking 12:00. So I ended up 20 minutes late for my meeting, plus I woke him up for a change by jumping out of bed and hitting the floor at a dead run.
• In the spring of ’06, I wrote a piece which would’ve been one of my favorites strictly on the basis of how it was constructed… except the punch line was that I was apprehensive that we would be moving in the summer of ’07. We continued on pins & needles more or less throughout the interim, but in the end we were spared, able to remain in what we believe is at least for the time being the best place for us to be. There's no way from here we can know when the actual emergency will be, not just a test; but we understand that’s part of the life we’ve chosen (or for which God has chosen us), and we are learning to trust that he’ll give us what we need to make it happen whenever the time comes.
• At the very beginning of my blog experience, when I still fancied myself the next great internet sportswriter, I did a little piece featuring a bit of haphazard statistical analysis and wound up with a prediction for the Mets’ then-newest slugger, Carlos Delgado. I figured that if he followed the trend of previous Met acquisitions and his own career record, he’d end up batting .281 with 30 home runs & 106 RBIs, and an OPS (on-base percentage plus slugging percentage) of .906. The actual retail value of the 2006 season: .265-38-114 (with an OPS of ... .909). I didn’t hit it exactly, but it oughtta be close enough to get me into the Showcase Showdown, at least.
• In the summer of ’06, I wrote about my son’s fascination with Emeril, and my own envy of how easy America’s Favorite Chef has it (actually, I suppose America’s Favorite might be Paula Deen – or at least that’s how the American College of Cardiology just voted). Well, the big fella’s been dethroned from the 7:30 TV timeslot by Tom & Jerry… and as for me, one day in the grocery store I turned a corner to find a display of clean, white kitchen towels calling to me – enough in the package that the laundry schedule doesn’t pose a significant obstacle. I still don’t have a staff to do the prep or cleanup, or even to hand me the towel, but it’s a start.
• Just a few weeks ago, I shared that I was increasing my work hours now that both kids are in school full-time. I’d like to report that’s going great, with the exception of the fact that we get dressed out of the hamper now… oh, and dinner a couple times a week is crackers & cheese.

As I pass into three digits, I have to say it’s still fun most of the time, and there are still a few words of five or more syllables I haven’t managed to work in yet. A couple of people have said stuff like, “You ought to write a book,” which they & I both know is slightly less realistic than my running for president, but nonetheless kinda cool to dream about. I still put too much pressure on myself to publish so anyone looking for new material won’t give up on me (hint, if you haven’t already figured this out: if you come here more often than every 10 days or so, you’re just deluding yourself); I’m even more determined, however, as time goes on to publish not when it’s ”time”, but only when I have something to say.

So thanks to my family, and to America’s hotels, airlines, and theme parks, for providing me with such rich material. And thanks to anyone reading; if you’ve read even one of these posts, you’ve done me a great honor. I hope you’ll keep reading & I can repay you with a laugh or an insight; failing in that, please feel free to take advantage of my 100% Money-Back Guarantee.

Metablog: Better to Light a Single Candle

As far as I can tell, Hallmark does not carry a line of Happy Blog Anniversary cards -- nor, as far as I can tell, do the popular e-card sites. That is unquestionably why I have not received any greetings, salutations, or felicitations on the occasion of this, my First Blog Anniversary.

What's worse, a Google search on "blog anniversary" produced a bunch of very complimentary readers, congratulating their favorite blogger on his/her happy occasion. I didn't read them, but several of the search-text results included a line about 'I read you all the time' or 'I can't start my day without you'... which did kind of make me wonder the secret of their success.

No matter; I'm coming to terms with the concept that I'm writing this for me, and if anyone else pops in, I hope they enjoy it too. Living in a parsonage for most of my life, I'm acquainted with the need to be prepared for unexpected guests, so I've actually done a little bit of renovation that I'm showing off today in my Anniversary Open House (unfortunately, it's BYORefreshments -- but please, feel free to enjoy a refreshing beverage or tasty snack as you read. Just remember to use a coaster).

My host (or, I suppose, "landlord", to extend the metaphor), Blogger, has recently introduced some new features. The one I was eagerly anticipating was the "labels" feature, which allows me to categorize my posts. So I've been plowing through the Back Issues, trying to pigeonhole myself... not an easy task, since I really do take the "Random" part seriously! I also have a habit, more pronounced in some of the earlier efforts, of starting out in one direction but fetching up entirely somewhere else -- kind of like Edgar Allan Poe with multiple personalities and a touch of ADD.

Anyway, here's the list of my labels and what they mean:

1. A&E -- this is my Arts & Entertainment section. I write about books, music, TV or movies. For some reason, when I started out, I was sure the cyberworld was desperately awaiting my opinions on these things. I do it a lot less now, but I think my favorite was My Date With Donnie (Pt I-II)... although Sine Qua Noel is certainly more timely in this season.
2. Comics Page -- I had a hard time deciding what to call this one. It's a little embarrassing, or at least risky, to stand up and say This is funny about something you've written yourself. In any case, this is the place for things I wrote that I either intended at the time to be funny, or ended up sort of accidentally amusing. Not only does this label continue the "newspaper" metaphor I use in other labels, but I'm also secure in the knowledge that the "real" comics page is itself only sporadically funny (with the possible exception of Frazz) so I'm shooting at a makeable target. I think my favorite here is Not Quite the Fortress of Solitude; in general this category has the highest percentage of "not quite what I had in mind".
3. Day in the Life -- The largest group, entries based on something that's happened in my daily life. With any luck there is some overlap here with the previous category. I'm probably fondest of these myself and it's hard to pick one to recommend; if pressed, I'd probably go with Into the Rodent's Jaws or Christmas Performance Review.
4. Family Room -- Pieces in some way about my family. Like most parents I pull a fair amount of material out of the kids. I believe my pick here would be Lower Education.
5. Locker Room -- I thought when I started that I'd be writing pithy, amusing, insightful sports pieces pretty regularly. That was before I discovered that the people who do read this with any regularity are not generally sports fanatics... and that I don't have all that much pithy or amusing or insightful to say about sports. In any case, my fave is probably Not For Nothing Do They Say Hope "Springs"... although truthfully it's not all that much of a sports piece!
6. Metablog -- These pieces are blogs I write about writing blogs. I tried to write a piece about writing a piece about writing a piece once, but I blew a hole in the time/space continuum. I can already tell this entry will not be my favorite here; I'd say my top was The View from the 40s.
7. Op-Ed Page -- I started this to begin with in part because I had opinions on a couple things and no real place to put them; the alternative is to write the newspaper and become One Of Those Guys Who Writes to Newspapers. You know the type -- they type with one hand and use the other to hold onto the tinfoil hat that keeps out the thought rays the government is trying to poison them with. I don't do it too often -- even I'm not that interested in my opinion -- but the one I feel the most strongly about is Motivational Speech.
8. Rewind -- I think a lot about the past, whether mine specifically or simply in the historical sense. I don't write it that much, though, because I can't always see my own past, at least, from far enough away to make sense (or something interesting) of it for another reader. The one of these I enjoy the most is The Hazards of Time Travel.
9. Theology for Dummies -- is my somewhat tongue-in-cheek label for anything spiritual. It stems from my core belief that we are all theologians, whether we really "think about it" or not; everything you do is in some ways a reflection of who you believe God is and how (or if) you relate to Him. I'm not going to pick a favorite here -- some are "big" thoughts and some are "smaller", but I feel like they're all (I hope) truths that God has helped me see, so they're all important.

So that's the starting lineup. I'll add more categories if the need arises, and I may add more labels to some of the entries -- an entry can fit, and be assigned, several labels.

I have really enjoyed writing Year 1; I've taken great pleasure in the pure writing piece, and in thinking about my life and the world in new ways. I'm also appreciative of anyone who chooses to read it, even if they don't share a comment. But my pleasure, or satisfaction, shouldn't be (can't be, under the circumstances!) dependent on yours... so I'm going to keep going as long as I can, and see what else I learn.

Metablog: The View from the 40s

A new quarter has been heard from in the ongoing debate about what constitutes middle age (and whether present company is excepted), as I discussed previously.

I had been noticing over the last 6 months or so an increasing difficulty seeing close up. I found myself, in fact, peering over the top of my glasses whenever I had to work with something tiny. I was concerned enough to violate my usual protocol and make a doctor’s appointment.

When the ophthalmologist came in to begin his very thorough exam, I described my symptoms to him, and he sort of snorted before retorting, “You’re describing what happens to everyone in middle age.” Later in the exam he explained he would try to avoid over-correcting my vision, since younger eyes can adjust for that… but “you older fellows will definitely feel it.” Evidently ophthalmologists have little experience in developing bedside manner.

So I’m now adjusting to a brand-new pair of “progressive lenses”, the modern-day version of bifocals. Actually I think I’ve done well adapting to the lenses; it may take longer to adjust to the idea of being a guy who needs progressive lenses. Not to worry, however; the optician, who is clearly in league with the doctor, tells me that the shape of my new frames makes me look “younger”. So there’s a bit of a paradigm shift as well – I used to seek to look older, more mature…

Anyway, it wasn’t really my 40s I set out to discuss (although it seems to be preoccupying me more than I have perhaps admitted even to myself!). I noticed on my blog maintenance home page recently that I am now in the 40s for number of posted articles. And while it won’t be until later in the month that I reach my 40th week, I sensed an opportunity for a look back.

I read a statistic recently -- in my favorite airline magazine -- that 55% of all blogs are abandoned before they hit 3 months. If nothing else, it’s wonderful to know that at least in one respect, this blog is above average – well, median, at least.

Like the new lenses, having a blog has changed the way I look at life. It’s arguable whether it’s a better way now, but I find myself in some ways more engaged with what’s going on around me, trying to determine what makes today unique (or sometimes, archetypical) or interesting or funny. Maybe I’m in some ways less engaged too, because I’m sometimes walking around writing in my head. I didn’t start this to make myself a better person, but I don’t want it to make me a lesser person either!

I did do it for my own satisfaction, and for the chance to put down my thoughts in a place that was all my own. Along with 8 zillion other bloggers. And I’ve found even more pleasure in the act of creating and writing than I thought I could. I tend to re-read my stuff pretty frequently, and I’m still proud of what I’ve written and enjoy reading it, with a few notable exceptions. When I get into trouble is usually when I have one thing to say, usually a joke, and I try to create a 500- or 600-word frame to put it in. Some of them are meant to be serious and come out kind of pseudo-serious; others are meant to be funny and come out… well, pseudo-funny is no funny at all.

As I have alluded to previously, it astounds me how often a conversation reminds me of something I just wrote. Unfortunately it’s usually my conversational partners who are astounded in turn as I try in vain to find a subtle way to slip in the fact that I have a blog: “You should read what I just wrote about that.” So far the rate of responses inquiring about my blog and its URL is running at approximately 0.00%, so that’s one conversational gambit I’m trying to abandon.

In addition to my own amusement and satisfaction, I do sometimes get a tiny bit of external validation. I don’t think I get too many “random” visitors, but a few of my friends & family have acknowledged stopping by now and then. Just knowing others are reading is gratifying, but I actually have one pretty regular correspondent who says nice things often enough to keep me on the hook. I wonder if she’s familiar with the concept of variable reinforcement?

I was talking to another friend recently who had just read some of my stuff, and she gave me the one compliment I treasure above all others... although it’s still not 100% clear to me that she meant it as a compliment! She said, “When I read it, all I could think is that it sounds just like you.” And that’s exactly what a blog should be, or at least what my blog should be. So if you read two or three and you don’t like them, don’t waste your time by coming back: it’s not the entry you don’t like, it’s me.

Editor's Note

I published the preceding post on August 27 (in my defense, it was late at night!). It kept drifting through my thoughts all day today, and I became convinced that I hadn't been clear enough in what I was trying to say. This evening I made a few small edits. I didn't say anything "wrong" the first time, but I hope I've said it better the second time....

Metablog: Hurling the cat out of the bag

I considered several titles for this entry, like “Outing Myself” or “An Advertisement for Myself”, but in any case the sense is, I’ve gone public.

There’s an old joke about a little girl who gets perfume and a watch for Christmas and goes around showing off her gifts all the time. Finally her parents tell her to stop pestering people. Soon company comes to the house and she’s like a cat on a griddle but she can’t say anything. At last she bursts out: “I’m not supposed to say anything, but if anybody hears anything or smells anything, it’s me!”

That’s been me the past few weeks; everything someone says leads me to note, “Hey, that reminds me of something I wrote in my blog!” Some of them are even people speaking to me at the time, although I’ll squeeze into someone else’s conversation if necessary to make my “offhand observation”. The funny, or sad, thing is that almost no one bites. Nobody says, “Gee, what a keen idea! Can I read it immediately?”

So after a couple of months of writing and posting my blog and getting absolutely no feedback at all, I couldn’t take it any more. I sent out a message to basically everyone in my address book, essentially begging them to read it. I’m pleased to say I’ve already gotten a half-dozen or so responses, and while none of them were sobbing uncontrollably & saying I’d changed their lives, it was nice to know someone besides me actually read something.

I've been checking in every couple of days, watching as my hit counter climbed all the way into the mid-teens. Unfortunately, I believe most of those were me, checking to see if my hit counter had gone up yet. And I have garnered a total of one (1) comment, by some random stranger impressed that I mentioned the Waitresses in my Christmas music piece.

When I checked tonight … hit counter 42. They can’t all be me, right? Of course, it’s a double-edged sword; if someone’s looking, now I have to make sure I’m doing interesting, good-quality stuff. I'm trying to take it as encouragement to do better, not pressure to be perfect – but it’s tempting to end up in that same mindset I wrote about in “Going Cold Turkey”. Go read that, it’s pretty good :-).

I am one of the four people across the land who don’t watch American Idol, but I know how it works. The first several shows of each season feature the most self-deluded and talentless candidates, to the point that viewers end up asking, “What was THIS bozo thinking about trying to be a singer?”

Now I think in recent seasons, it’s probably driven by cynical motives as often as not: if I’m bad enough, I’ll make it on TV. But surely for many it’s not all that different from my e-mail. I’m doing something here in the privacy of my own room that I like & I think is pretty good, but I can’t be sure how good in “absolute” terms till someone outside my own head evaluates it.

If you do choose to respond, however, I'd like it if you'd err on the side of Paula and not Simon.

Metablog – Breaking the Code

As I have begun to get into this blogging business a bit, I have been struggling to understand how it’s really supposed to work. It’s definitely a form of communication with its own unique challenges….

It’s kind of like a diary, but there’s at least a theoretical chance that someone else will read this – so while I intend to be honest, it may be best not to be “nakedly” self-revelatory!

On the other hand, if it actually were a two-way conversation, that conversation would be informed by the relationship between me and the other party. You change the way you communicate based on who’s listening, but if you don’t know who’s listening, how do you set the style?

Even a work of fiction has its own internal logic and conventions, and as you read through, you hopefully come to understand the characters and watch them progress. However, even if you assume there are readers, they can jump in (and out) anywhere – in fact, they don’t necessarily even read them in the order you intend. So, pretty hard to shoot for "character development".

I’m not sure that many of the blogs I’ve scanned have given this concept (or anything else, but that’s another story) a lot of thought. I have to think that if I’m going to do this at all, it ought to be worth doing right. I just hope I eventually figure out what that looks like.

When I write our family's annual Christmas letter, I always have to keep in mind that it's the family's Christmas letter, not just mine. That means I am not always free to say everything that comes to mind, in whatever style I wish. If it were all me, it would be about 50% puns and wry observations. And, of course, my vocabulary tends to be a bit... I don't know, florid? Baroque? I have to admit that I come from the school of, "if a 50-cent word is good, a two-dollar word is better." In some circles that's seen as showing off, but really I just find it amuses me. In this I am following in the footsteps of some of my favorite funny writers such as Twain, Thurber, and PJ O'Rourke.

So one thing I have determined about writing this is that I'm going to indulge my own unique word sense to the hilt. They say you should "write for yourself", and since it's probably myself I'm writing for anyway, I have nothing to lose.

Post #1 - This Is Me

As anyone can plainly see, there are not enough blogs in the world, so why not add one more? Besides that, I have two children, so at least I’m accustomed to being ignored when I say something.

I would guess that any blog has to begin by attempting to justify its existence, or at least to display the author’s relevant credentials. When I was gearing up to start this, I considered all the different parts of my life:

• I’m a husband (for 18 years) and a father (two kids, 6 and 3). Of course, I’ve found that I know a lot less about being married and being a father than I used to “before”. I probably won’t be posting any “how-tos”, but maybe my vast readership can help me.
• I’m a Christian and active in my church. I believe that God and faith issues are worth thinking about and even interesting. If it doesn’t turn out that way, it’s me that’s not interesting – not God.
• I’m currently gasping for oxygen because baseball season’s over. I’ve been a baseball fan – and it’s no coincidence that the word “fan” comes from “fanatic” -- for as long as I can remember, with a particular passion for the Mets. That’s put me in a good spot to enjoy some extreme highs and lows over the years! In addition, I run a fantasy baseball league. I like to think about baseball from a lot of different angles.
• I have a longstanding interest in things cultural. OK, mostly I love TV and I love to read. I intend to write about what I enjoy (and don’t), and why. As for movies, I like a good flick as much as the next guy, but I had to make a choice between going to movies and having kids.
• I’m a musician. That’s a slight exaggeration; I play the guitar, but I’m mostly a musician in my head. In my fingers I’m more of a hack. I do love to sing, and I’m sure I’ll be writing about the hidden dangers of karaoke.
• I have a strong streak of nostalgia, which manifests itself in a lot of different ways. I like to read history – particularly recent cultural history, the kind of work that gives a sense of what it was like to live in a certain time & place. Other times, I like to watch those TVLand documentaries on old shows. And sometimes, I just sit around and obsess about old girlfriends.
• I’ve always enjoyed writing, although I’m a mathematician by training and a computer programmer by profession. I actually do a bit of technical writing in my current position, which isn’t as much fun as programming, but it’s something I can do pretty well. I won’t make any extravagant claims about the quality of my writing, but I will promise correct grammar and punctuation. Of course, from some of the blogs I’ve reviewed lately, that may be against the rules.

I know that in the blogosphere I’m in trouble because I can’t be pigeonholed. I’ll just go into the “General Topic” dumpster with everyone else who can’t make up their minds what to write about. But in any case I intend to go down swinging!