Lower Education

I recently found myself wondering (you’ll understand in a moment how I came to pursue this line of internal inquiry) whether any Nobel laureate, Rhodes Scholar, Pulitzer Prize winner, or someone of that ilk, has any 2-year college experience lurking in his or her past. Do you suppose a search – I’m not sure if Google is up to the task – would turn up such a thing as an A.A in Liberal Arts & Sciences (Mathematics)?

I am not a recipient of any of the above honors, although I’m hoping the Pulitzer gang inaugurates a prize for Outstanding Achievement in Sporadic, Polysyllabic, and Often Meandering Blogging. I am, however, the proud holder of the aforementioned degree.

Its main function in my life is to enable me to say I have the same number of college degrees as my wife. We each have three; big deal if 2 of hers are Master’s and one of mine is an Associate’s! I paid good money for that degree… well, actually, in those days you could almost pay for community college with change you found between the couch cushions. And I think, to be more accurate and less entertaining, my parents paid for it. Be that as it may, I’m doubly proud to assert that my community college education was every bit as valuable as the rest of it and almost incomprehensibly cheaper. But the point I set out to make, if I recall correctly, is that my family has really done its bit for education.

Of course, we also did our time on the other side of the desk, having a combined 18 or so years of teaching experience, depending on how you choose to count. I pile all this up not to brag, but instead to achieve the utter pulverization of my original thesis: around here, we know from education.

Just when we thought, however, that it would be safe to sink into the soothingly overstuffed Easy Chair of Ignorance, along comes the next generation of learners… and naturally (whether we like it or not), while they are learning, they can’t help but show these aging canines a few things along the way as well. So in case you were consumed with curiosity about whatever happened to Robert Fulghum, the following are a few lessons I’ve picked up from our in-house tiny taskmasters (or, if you prefer, half-pint headmasters):

• A pile of dirt, a plastic cup and some water beats anything you can find at a toy store. Why is this so hard for parents to learn? It’s a well-worn cliché that kids ignore the present and play with the box, and still we persist in handing them “stuff” that interests them for even less time than it takes to break.
• If you keep looking around, you can find something interesting in every situation. For example, my daughter is almost 4. Her name starts with “K”, so she is always on the lookout for the letter “K”. When she sees it, she experiences a sense of triumph on par with any world-famous archeologist.
• Every question is worth asking, as many times as it takes to get an answer that makes sense to you. I find that when I ask for help (as a man, I am permitted to do so at work, although not in my personal life and under no circumstances when directions are involved), a lot of times I give up after one round of questions – even if the answer doesn’t make any sense to me. Not so my son; he’ll keep drilling all day till he strikes oil.
• When you feel something, let yourself feel it all the way. Like any idea, this one can be taken to extremes. I’ve had it up to here with people (some of whom are not my children, or children at all) who think that being angry is a good reason to rave like a maniac. However, it’s wonderful to watch my kids being so happy they can’t physically contain it; and I wonder whether by letting themselves be reallyreally sad, they don’t get over it faster.
• The journey is more important than the destination. Yes, I know that one’s a cliché of greeting-card proportions (and not the Shoebox greeting cards either, I’m talking Helen Steiner Rice with flowers on the front). But it does take on a whole new life when you’re out for a walk and you keep stopping to pick up sticks… search for rocks… chase a toad into the bushes…
• If you love someone, tell them over and over and over again, at random intervals and for no apparent reason. A big hug around the neck & a kiss ain’t bad either.

Go talk to a kid today; if you really listen, you'll probably come up with something to make you laugh, or make you think. If you want to make an impression, bring a plastic cup and a pile of dirt.