Best Supporting Actor

In the hazy days of my childhood in the pre-cable era, awards shows were always a big draw. The Emmys and Oscars were annually among the most popular shows. I'm not counting the Tonys, of course; nobody watched the Tonys, then or now. When you think about it, it's kind of amazing that they even put it on TV. What percentage of the nation lives within commuting distance of Broadway, and what percentage of them care enough to go to a show? Maybe we should start televising Little League banquets and the like.

I still watch awards once in awhile (it's hard not to; in the cable era, there's a new awards show almost weekly), but it gets harder to find the entertainment. I blame the homogenization of the acceptance speech. There used to be, it seemed to me, a presumption that the winners might say something interesting or even unpredictable, but those days are gone forever. Now it's a list of thank yous: my agent, my manager, my accountant, the head of the studio... zzzzzz.... sorry, did I doze off? The writer, the director, my costars..... if you're lucky and the music doesn't start up, they might squeeze in thanks to the family (actually, there have been some high-profile instances of the family being left out and some attendant marital friction).

Kind of reminds me of Father's Day. The most important "thank you day" is clearly Mother's Day -- that's the day with the flowers, the candy, taking Mom out to brunch, gifts (I gave my wife a stepladder this year*). Then down there at the end, there's Father's Day. There are a lot of reasons for that, like the fact that some part of society has convinced themselves fathers are optional. And the fact that an enormous proportion, whether they like it or not, are doing without a father to varying degrees. And the fact -- have I mentioned this previously? :-) -- that mothers are sometimes perceived as doing the real work.

[*Editor's Note: Lest I be tarred with the 'typical male' brush, the ladder was a big hit -- perhaps my most successful present since I gave her a wheelbarrow for her birthday.]

I hasten to assert that I am not complaining with a personal motivation. I'm grateful just to be a father, and my clan has made plenty of fuss about me today. In fact, I'm getting my Father's Day Wishes: I'm not cooking dinner tonight (they don't know it yet, but I intend to extend that notion all the way to the complete avoidance of any sort of chore); and I'm actually sitting on the couch, watching an entire Mets game from start to finish. Hey, it's the 18th of June -- I'm entitled to one.

And after all, what says "Hey, I'm a great dad!" more eloquently than completely abdicating my responsibilities, and ignoring my children between 1 and 4 PM?