My hyPod

I'm a pretty unlikely candidate to be a technophobe. After all, I do make my living using a computer. And there are those near and dear to me who have been heard to say, "Will you please turn off that laptop??" If you heard the implied phrase "for once" in there, you are indeed listening with that Third Ear.

I would definitely cop to being a slow adopter, however. While I embrace technology in general, as a rule I also tend to shun change... which I suppose seems a bit contradictory. When I sense any tension, though, I break the tie by recalling that The Latest Thing usually costs The Most Money, and my thrifty nature casts the deciding vote. You know, frugal. Financially conservative. Don't say the "ch"-word, or I'll hit you with another paragraph of euphemisms.

As I result, I'm always trailing the crowd. I was extremely late in moving to DVDs -- or at least dipping my toe in, since I'm hedging my bets with a combo VHS/DVD player. I wouldn't even have this laptop if I hadn't wheedled it out of my manager when my employer declared it officially obsolete. And I really, really wish music would slow down and let me catch up.

I was, surely needless to say, the one still buying vinyl when All The Kids were buying cassettes; I even had a handful of 8-tracks, but I promise I didn't buy them myself. Finally, when LPs went the way of the Edsel (even Columbia House stopped selling them), I gave in and moved to cassettes -- and about a week later, CDs were the next big thing.

Now, finally, I've surrendered to the tyranny of CDs... only to find once more that the parade has gone off and left me. I'm sure the day is not distant when some young punk pulls out the earbuds long enough to ask, "What's a CD?"

Predictably, I have not joined the iPod crowd, for reasons even beyond the obviou$. Not only does a fairly steep tab look doubly so when evaluated as an undisputed luxury, but my life at present does not encourage me to spend much time cocooned in my own little world (as an iPod encourages).

Perhaps more to the point, I just don't need something else that needs to be "managed". I'm sure it's supposed to be a selling point when they say how many zillion songs an iPod will hold, but all I can think is, "When will I have time to find the sites and find the songs and download them all?" And oh by the way, continue paying and paying. It used to be that if I wanted a collection of cool tunes, I'd go to Caldor or Ames and slap down $4.98 for the latest K-Tel album. A zillion songs times 99 cents is a daunting prospect.

I will confess that I've detoured past the iPod display a couple times recently. And further, that I've started to assemble a playlist for my hypothetical iPod -- or hyPod, if you will. I already own a lot of songs that I enjoy and would love to hear more often... but they're trapped on vinyl. And since I have even less chance to hang out in front of my turntable, I'm also researching ways to transfer music from LP to CD (it can be done, although it's pretty expensive and/or requires a degree in Electrical Engineering).

I find that the songs I want that I don't already have fall mostly into the period right before I started collecting: late 60s/early 70s pop. Further, although I can't quite put my finger on it, they feel to me somehow similar. See if you can intuit the common thread among these:

• Anything by the Stylistics -- let's start with Betcha By Golly, Wow
• The Worst That Could Happen - Brooklyn Bridge
• You Make Me So Very Happy; And When I Die - Blood, Sweat & Tears
• Black And White- Three Dog Night
• Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye - Steam
• Vehicle- Ides of March
• Don't Pull Your Love- Hamilton, Joe Frank & Reynolds
• Treat Her Like a Lady - Cornelius Brothers & Sister Rose

For some reason, when I think about this I keep hearing the first few bars of Ooh Child by the Five Stairsteps.... I guess it kind of fits stylistically (if not Stylistics-ly), but I really don't think it's a good song.

Once I get started thinking about such things, it's only a matter of a couple of years till I carry it through. But I have a feeling that by that time, the Cool Kids will have moved on to direct chip implantation.