Root, Root, Root for the Virtual Home Team

In the photo album of my mind, I seem to be missing many of the pages allotted to childhood, but one memory I can almost put a specific date on is the 1969 World Series. I’m aware that I may have inadvertently embellished this one over the years, but I have a very distinct memory of Jerry Koosman batting for the Mets and NBC play-by-play man Curt Gowdy talking about what an awful hitter he was. I also remember being a bit offended by that (although I would, over the years, learn for myself that he was indeed an awful hitter).

The real significance of that memory is that it marks the conscious beginning of my interest in the Mets. Throughout 1970, our local TV station would occasionally broadcast Sunday Mets games, which I watched avidly; in 1971 I got to go to Shea Stadium to see a game in person, and by then the affair was in full bloom.

As a consequence, this has been a satisfying season for me – except for the fact that I’ve seen about the same number of Mets games as I did in 1970, thanks to the evil gatekeeping trolls at our cable company, who even through a corporate takeover have (both) steadfastly denied me access to the Mets’ cable network. So I have an extra reason to enjoy the Mets’ trip to the postseason: I get to watch their games.

I find that playoff games give me a purer kind of joy than the regular season games do; you see, as I’ve confessed previously, I am a fantasy baseball player. In any game, the team I am rooting against – even the absolutely loathsome corporation that also wears an NY logo, whose name I shall not speak – may include a player (or worse yet, a pitcher, since their performances tend to have a more pronounced effect on my scores) who is part of my fantasy squad. So I end up hoping that a guy like Ryan Howard of the Phillies will bat against the Mets with 2 outs in the 9th and the bases loaded, trailing by 5 runs, so he can hit a grand slam: Mets win, I get 9 points for my team.

This brand of rooting is extremely mentally fatiguing, especially when you multiply by the number of players I “own”, so in some ways it’s a relief that the fantasy portion of the season is over (all the more so since I won my league, and by the absolute thinnest of margins: after 6 months of competition, my score was 0.5% higher than the second-place finisher).

Don’t worry, it’s not like I’m obsessed or anything. No, no, no, the Other Guy is “obsessed”; my friend is “preoccupied”; for me, it’s merely an “interest”. I could point out to you that I was in second place as late as September 26, but I’m afraid you might read something into the fact that I'm aware of that statistic.

Trust me, it’s only a “hobby”.

If I told you that I had the leading scorers among both shortstops and outfielders, you might lose sight of the impressiveness of that feat (distracted by wondering who would even know such a thing).

Really, it’s just a “pastime”.

However, if you’re curious about the standings as of June 12… if you’re wondering which player scored the most points in the month of August… if you need to know which team totaled the most RBI for the season (ahem, ahem)… just let me know. I mean, it's not like the binding on the yearbook is even real leather.