Reunion

Although we're all officially back to work (OK, the kids have a little vacation left), our thoughts often drift to the Sunshine State. They weren’t kidding about that, by the way; it turns out the State Legislature previously rejected “The Oppressive Heat State” as bad for business.

This was the big Yearly Vacation Trip, including our Date With Mickey. Wait, I already used that with Donnie Iris. In any case, I'm pleased to report that the trip, logistically, was about as routine as could be hoped. There’s even one measurable incidental benefit to flying Southwest: the in-flight magazine, Southwest Airlines Spirit.

The big general-interest magazines like Life went extinct awhile back, but it seems airline mags are the 21st-century equivalent, with an eclectic selection of articles. And they’re even interesting… generally.

My favorite piece this month was an essay by the editor on high school reunions. I briefly considered pasting my own picture over his at the top of the page, because it was kinda funny/kinda touching, or in other words what I'm shooting for in this blog. It was also a reminder, as if I needed it, that he’s a pro and I’m not, and that there’s a lot more to being a writer than good grammar & spelling.

Since I started my own writing “career”, I’ve become much more sensitive to connections and parallels, so I immediately identified with his topic. On our way to pay homage to the Oversized Rodent, we attended my parents’ 60th Anniversary party – which of course also served as at least a partial family reunion.

It was the first time this combination had coalesced in 3 years; perhaps 4 or 5 times in the last 10 years. As a result it took on almost the quality of a high school reunion: infrequent, and a group of people that knew each other most intimately several years ago. I should stress above all that we had a wonderful time during our visit, and time with my family (especially as infrequent as it is) is one of my most prized commodities. At the same time I think it's important to acknowledge that success in these instances is not a foregone conclusion, no matter how loved your loved ones are.

At such times it’s hard not to see each other through the lens of those long-ago experiences… even if the “prescription” has changed significantly in the meantime. Not only that, but I think there's a temptation for most of us to play the same part, even if we’ve outgrown it.

At my recent high school reunions, I was still amazed that the Pretty Girls would talk to me and that the Cool Guys acknowledged me – despite the fact that I’m a married man now, and that 25 years or so tends to level the “coolness” playing field to a large degree.

In the same way, when the family assembles, it’s all too easy for me to be the smart-alecky little brother. Now I know how Jerry Mathers felt when they made “Still the Beaver”; it’s tough to play the same role at 44 that you did at 9 (or even 19). After all, Lucy played basically the same character into her mid-70s – but at the end, none of us could bear to watch.

At a high school reunion, you have the luxury of playing that part, since you probably won't see these people for another 5 years (and chances are you don't care that much about their opinion anyway). Family, or any real relationship, is a different story. The highlight of the week for me was viewing a pile of old family photographs -- but as treasured as they are, I want to make sure none of us gets frozen (or freezes each other) into that image from long ago. In those experiences, I think it's best to remember: snapshots are valuable memories, but life itself is a motion picture.