The Lifesong in My Head

Some time ago, I read somewhere that people who talk to themselves are usually very intelligent. At least I think that’s what I read; I’m certainly not going to go back and try to confirm it. Considering the alternatives, I’m going to stick with the most attractive, and self-serving, explanation possible.

In my defense, it is basically one conversation at a time… well, that may be a little misleading (and self-serving). There are usually several channels going at once: besides the mundane running dialogue (oops, did I say dialogue? I know, I KNOW, you’re not supposed to answer yourself), it’s not uncommon for something like a separate “process” to be running, writing a blog in my head; and there is almost always a music channel playing as well. This doesn’t even count the input from external sources, which – depending on the number and identity of the children in my vicinity – can be prodigious in its own right. I am fortunate that the brain is the ultimate Windows(TM) operating system, capable of minimizing one program while one of the others is running full-force.

Most of the music I listen to from outside my head these days is Christian contemporary, so that’s also the bulk of my interior playlist. While, as I have mentioned, I’m fairly susceptible to getting a song stuck in my head, in this case it’s not entirely a bad thing.

My opportunities for spiritual self-maintenance are somewhat sporadic… or more accurately/truthfully, I don’t fully take advantage of the opportunities I have. One thing I do have going for me is that I've always found that Christian music burrows inside my soul and my brain in ways that books and sermons can’t always match.

Recently I have been haunted (I don’t think that’s too strong a word, actually) by one image in one song: “Lifesong”, by Casting Crowns. Mark Hall, the lead vocalist & principal songwriter for the group, has a remarkable ability to capture important spiritual concepts in a song that rocks but is also challenging (I would recommend without hesitation either of their first 2 CDs).

Here’s the chorus I keep hearing:

Let my lifesong sing to You
Let my lifesong sing to You
I want to sign Your name to the end of this day
Knowing that my heart was true
Let my lifesong sing to You

It made me really think about how many of my days I even want to sign my own name to, let alone God’s name. Most of the time I think I would be content to submit my day anonymously (just leave it on the desk when nobody's looking), and not have to answer for the results. Well, all right, there are any number of days where I’ve done “good work”, and I’d be willing to take the credit for them. But how often is my day of the kind of quality, and consistency, that makes it appropriate for inclusion in the God Signature Collection?

I continue to ponder that as we move into fall; with so many demands ramping up all around me, it can be tempting to settle for Good Enough. I’m getting the feeling more and more that God (who created my multichannel brain to begin with) is using one or more of those channels to remind me not to settle for the best I can do … but instead to strive for the best He can do.