Locker Room: All of Our Operators Are Assisting Other Customers

I haven't been hitting my self-imposed goals for posting frequency (hey, you could call me once in awhile, you know), but my attention has been divided lately because it's my busy season. I'm not a tax preparer or a florist or even a snowplow driver (although the plow guys in our area have had a pretty restful time of it). No, I'm referring to my moonlighting gig as commissioner of a fantasy baseball league.

I admit, I'm one of Those Guys. I organized the league six years ago, I keep the Official League Records (not that anyone else even notices), and I even send out occasional e-mail newsletters. I've actually gotten a little less compulsive about that -- the first couple of years it was weekly newsletters. But I guess when you come down to it, fantasy baseball has become the 21st century equivalent to Dungeons & Dragons. It's just as well I got married before I started doing it.

Most (normal) people are not thinking too much about baseball right now; the players haven't even gone to spring training yet. But in addition to supervising the league itself, I also personally conduct the player draft. That means I have to create lists of players at each position & get them to the other "owners" so they can rank the players and pass the lists back. Then I go through the lists in a preset order & assign players to teams.

There's a lot of work involved, of course, but (as with my other ... "enthusiasms") the truly remarkable, or scary, thing is what this all does to my brain. For the next month, guaranteed, when I am in the shower I'll be thinking of how I might rank the second basemen (should Mr. X be #11 or #14?). When I'm cooking dinner, I'll be trying to think of an American League starting pitcher the other guys might have overlooked. And when I'm on the interstate, I'm sure the question of which of last year's players I should keep (we're allowed four) will induce me to miss an exit sometime. If you've ever been involved in getting something started, you won't be surprised: the actual beginning of the season will come as a relief.

I guess to be on the safe side, I'd better stay in the right hand lane for the next month or so... maybe I'd better have my flashers on for good measure.