House Arrest in HD

I've never seen the movie "A Clockwork Orange" -- in fact, after a brief exploration of the movie courtesy of our Wikifriends, I believe I'm actually quite grateful that I never have. It's also really gratifying that I'm actually too young to have seen it the first time around. At my age, and I don't believe I've ever used that phrase before, being "too young" for anything is not to be taken lightly. However, the most famous scene from that movie has been floating around at least as a concept for a long time, so I got the reference when Lost used a similar scene. Let's just say, if you're not familiar, that too much TV can be not good for you.

On the other hand, consider the postulate advanced by a noted,ah, lifestyles researcher: "Too much of a good thing can be wonderful." I have to say I've already had cause to wonder about that on more than one occasion, usually related to expense account meals or some other form of free food.

So taken all around, I'm having a hard time deciding exactly how I feel about this. OK, I know you hate it when I force you to follow a link (or as my wife says, how come you're underlining random words?), so here it is in a nutshell:

Major League Baseball is conducting a casting call for a baseball fan’s dream job. The winner of this Dream Job promotion will move to NYC to star in a baseball web series and be a part of a live interactive experience for baseball fans that will include watching every MLB game over the course of the entire baseball season (simultaneously when multiple games are on at the same time), blogging opinions, interacting with fans through social media and appearing in video blogs. The web series will be distributed on MLB.com and through social media outlets.

Well, sure, if baseball is good -- surely that is a fundamental truth -- then mo' baseball is mo' better, and ALL of baseball has to be awesome. So that would be a hard job to turn down... except perhaps for a couple of pesky obstacles. The list of skill requirements is pretty daunting, but it really gets crazy when you check out the "Responsibilities" section.

Even before that, of course, it would be a tough row to hoe for anyone who already had a ... you know... life. Not that there's ever going to be an action-packed reality series based on my life, although I suppose it might possibly appeal to the Agoraphobic Channel. But I'm fairly sure that my employers would notice I was gone after, say, a few weeks. And at home the laundry would pile up and there's only so much peanut butter you can stock ahead of time. So I'm not sure I fit the target audience of No Friends, No Family, No Job, No Particular Reason Not to Throw All Your Possessions in a Liquor Store Box and Take Off for the Big Apple.

As a matter of fact, looking a little closer, we discern that they are not explicitly promising a suite at the Plaza; to be precise, "Must reside in a location picked by MLB in New York City for the entire baseball season." I think it would likely be relatively difficult to find a steam grate with high-speed wifi, so the "location" probably has walls... beyond that, who knows.

Here's the one that really got me, though: "Must be present in the location to observe all MLB regular season and postseason games during the 2011 season." I take that to mean you have to be in your chair any time there's a game on -- even West Coast night games that start after 10pm New York time. I'm hoping that they supply a wide variety of delivery menus; it would also help if there were screens in, um, some of the less typical rooms of the house.

But at least you won't have to worry about keeping your dignity intact. The promotion is co-sponsored by Endemol USA, makers of quality television programming such as "Deal or No Deal", "Wipeout", and perhaps most appropriately, "Big Brother".